[Humor] Dogs

Jim C. Nasby jim at nasby.net
Tue Jan 18 07:11:39 GMT 2005


The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of
his  tongue.  -Anonymous

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are
wonderful.  -Ann Landers

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they
went.  -Will Rogers

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves
himself.  -Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.  -Andy Rooney

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can
spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has
ever made.  -M. Acklam

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who
are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
-Sigmund Freud

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious
cult.  -Rita Rudner

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three
times before lying down.  -Robert Benchley

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have
known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.  -James Thurber

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.  -Unknown

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can.
That's almost $21.00 in dog money.  -Joe Weinstein

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back
from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a
cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!  -Anne Tyler

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and
get used to the idea.  -Robert A. Heinlein

Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman.  -Dave Miliman

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite
you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.  -Mark
Twain

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look
that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
- Dave Barry

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.  -Roger
Caras

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your
pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.  -Phil Pastoret

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.
-Unknown 


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