[Humor] Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

Jim C. Nasby jim at nasby.net
Mon Oct 3 19:07:37 GMT 2005


A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence
indicating guilt, but there was nothing that conclusively proved that
the corpse was that of the victim. In the defense's closing statement
the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted,
resorted to a trick. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a
surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch.

"Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into
this courtroom." He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors,
somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing
happened. Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous
statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put to
you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone
was killed, and I insist that you return a verdict of not guilty." 

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. 

A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of
guilty. "But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I
saw all of you stare at the door." 

The jury foreman replied: "Oh, we all looked, but your client didn't."


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