[Humor] How to deal with telemarketers

Jim C. Nasby jim at nasby.net
Fri Mar 31 09:01:00 CST 2006

The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I
answered it I was greeted with "Is this Karl Brummer?"  Not sounding
anything like my name, I asked who was calling. The telemarketer said he
was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that.
Then I asked him if he knew Karl personally and why was he calling this
number.  I then said off to the side, "Get some pictures of the body at
various angles and the blood smears."

I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had
entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already
traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to testify in this
murder case.  I questioned the caller at great length as to his name,
address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew
the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before
he made this call.

The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given
in a shaky voice.  I then told him we had located his position and the
police were entering the building to take him into custody, at that
point I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming
down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen

My meal was cold, but it was the best meal in a long, long time.

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