[Humor] Chinese torture

Jim C. Nasby jim at nasby.net
Thu Mar 15 00:47:46 CDT 2007

A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a small

Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a
long, gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much
as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst
Chinese tortures known to man."

"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as
well, and entered the house. Before dinner the daughter came down the
stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic figure. She was
obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off
him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her
and went up to bed alone. But during the night he could bear it no
longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to
keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he
crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large
rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large
rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the
best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He
picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder
out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read "Chinese
Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and
saw the line that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few
broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window
after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the
ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost." 
----- End forwarded message -----

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